Dealing with the Monsters of Technology

(Original Posted for TelWare 2018)

As the days grow shorter and the trees transform into vibrant hues, the season of spooks and supernatural tales takes hold. Halloween brings with it a delightful chill, where the thrill of haunted hayrides, glowing jack-o'-lanterns, and eerie creature features takes center stage. While we revel in these harmless frights, the real monsters lurking in the realm of business and technology are far less entertaining and much more disruptive.

Fantasy and horror provide a temporary escape, but in the reality of business, these "monsters" can wreak havoc if left unchecked. To help you identify and combat these technological terrors, here are four business and tech monstrosities that could be draining your resources and holding your company back.

RL image of Nosferatu annoying his parents as a pre-teen

Count Dracula: The Life-Sapping Outdated Processes

Just as Count Dracula drains the lifeblood of his victims, outdated processes and technologies can bleed your business dry. Departments that once thrived may now resemble pale and lifeless shadows of their former selves. Obsolete communication tools, missing databases, and manual, time-consuming tasks sap your employees' energy and morale.

To avoid becoming a victim of these vampiric inefficiencies, conduct a thorough assessment of your workflows. Identify areas where automation and modernization can revitalize your operations. By updating your processes, you’ll inject new life into your organization, ensuring that your employees have the tools they need to succeed.

Hands down. Funniest movie of all time.

Frankenstein’s Monster: The Patchwork Network

Mary Shelley’s iconic monster lacked a name, and so do many of the tangled and inconsistent naming conventions lurking in company networks. These patchwork systems, built by a series of engineers over time, can create confusion and chaos. As your business grows, this disjointed infrastructure becomes an unwieldy monstrosity, prone to errors and inefficiencies.

The solution? Standardize your naming conventions and implement scalable systems that can adapt to future growth. A clean and organized network is the foundation of a healthy and efficient business. Don’t let your IT environment become a lumbering, misunderstood creature.

Zombies are my personal worst nightmare come true.

The Zombie: The Undead Status Quo

The zombie’s defining trait is its relentless, mindless existence—and in the business world, clinging to the status quo can have the same effect. Companies that fail to innovate risk succumbing to complacency, allowing decay to take hold from within. This lack of adaptation infects teams with apathy and stifles progress, leaving organizations vulnerable to more agile competitors.

To combat this slow death, foster a culture of innovation and continuous improvement. Encourage your teams to explore new ideas, challenge existing norms, and remain vigilant against stagnation. A proactive approach will keep your organization alive and thriving.

Double points as a rockstar if you can name the movie reference

The Werewolf: The Lone Wolf Syndrome

The Lone Wolf Developer—or any co-worker who resists collaboration—can be as destructive as a rampaging werewolf. While independence is often celebrated, the refusal to communicate or share ideas can derail projects and strain team dynamics. Lone wolf behavior undermines trust, transparency, and the collective strength of a well-functioning team.

Tame this beast - prioritize open communication and teamwork. Create an environment where collaboration is rewarded and ideas are freely exchanged. Lean and agile teams thrive on transparency and shared goals, ensuring that everyone is aligned and working toward the same objectives.

Slay girl! Slay!

Conclusion: Slaying the Monsters

Businesses are living, breathing entities that require care and attention to flourish. Just as black cats and spells are no substitute for hard work, success comes from identifying and addressing the monsters lurking in your operations. By confronting outdated processes, standardizing your systems, fostering innovation, and promoting collaboration, you can banish these tech terrors and set your company on a path to sustained growth and productivity.

This Halloween season, don’t let the real-life monsters take over. Arm yourself with the tools and strategies needed to conquer them—and ensure that your business remains a thriving, harmonious entity well into the future.